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MTV and ‘Jersey Shore’ guidos gone wild: Madonn!

Photo Credit: Cliffview Pilot

Yo, Cliffside Post: Y’hear about these so-called “Italian-Americans” who got agita over the “Jersey Shore” show on MTV next week? Not for nothin’, but if I was one of these mamalukes, I’d drop the subject entirely before somebody ends up goin’ to slip and fall school, if y’know what I’m sayin’.


MTV

These mooks are just jealous. They wish they had guns like some of the cugines on MTV’s “Jersey Shore,” or a pair of how-ya-doin’s like the babes (this one chick — madonn! No way they’re real).

I mean, are they really ITALIAN-American, or were they born here ? Makes a big difference. Me, I’m an American of Italian heritage. Siciliana, in fact. Proud of it, too.

So proud that I laugh at the jokes. Cause that’s what they are: jokes (Unless you call me a guinea. Then you’re pickin’ up your teeth with broken fingers. Glad we got that straight).

I once worked for a guy from Brooklyn who refused to watch “The Sopranos” because he said they (what’s the word?) perpetuated negative stereotypes about our tribe (grazie, Google).

This is a guy who giggled like a schoolgirl and looked like Stanley Tucci if you’d hit him in the face with a shovel. Talk about a negative stereotype!

Whatever happened to just not watching the program? I mean, who doesn’t know that reality shows on M(oron)TV all suck? You could give me 57 cracks at it and I couldn’t tell you what station to hit on the remote. 69? LOL!!!

You know some of the worst things to happen to American-Italians? “The Godfather” and “Saturday Night Fever.”

Too many greaseballs already had the hair, the shirts, the cars. Then these movies come out, and every zipperhead with a vowel at the end of his name is walkin’ around in gold chains and black leather, tellin’ people to “fuhgedabout” touchin’ his hair.

Y’know what? I didn’t see this bunch o’ Marys complainin’ when THOSE movies came out. Or when Father Guido Sarducci played “Find the Pope in the Pizza” on Saturday Night Live!

Nobody said ougats to Ed Sullivan about Topo Gigio. Or to Lou Monte about Pepino the Italian Mouse. Or to Paterson’s Lou Costello about Bacciagalupe.

Francis Albert is probably rollin’ over in his grave.

I got this quote off the Internet:

“We find this program alarming in that it attempts to make a direct connection between ‘guido culture’ and Italian-American identity,” said National Italian American Foundation President Joseph Del Raso.

Oofah!

You ask me, I think MTV delivered a couple boxes of ganoles to these faccia brutes in return for a little free publicity, if y’see where I’m goin’ with this.

If these momos could see me, I’d flip my fingertips under my chin: Va fa Napoli! Then I’d tell ’em to reach back and pull out the sticks.

Yours,

Tony Romo

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